Saturday, 23 February 2008

Emma The Builder

I have always suffered from inconstructionitis. This is commonly known as: the inability to construct items from written instructions.

So when I bought a desk online this week, I was very, very concerned to discover it was not going to get carried into my flat by two men who would carefully put it down, put my laptop on it and say 'voila'. Nooooo. My new desk was slid into my room inside of a cardboard box. A very thin 'undesk looking' cardboard box.

And so it was that I found myself, on a Saturday night, screwdriver in hand, determined to overcome my building disorder.

After an hour or so of my tongue sticking out the side of my mouth, and repeating 'screw two S4 bolts into panel B' to myself - I was done.

To say I was proud of myself is quite the understatement.

(Note the two shelves, including one that slides in and out.)

Two hours later and it still hasn't fallen over.

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

Raising her Weary Head

Spring is peeking sleepily over the horizon. Slightly stunned, she blinks into the post-winter light.

The first sign of this was the daffidols showing their eternally happy faces outside Clapham Common tube station.

Then bunches of asparagus began to appear at Sainsbury's.

Finally, when I skipped out of work yesterday at 5.40pm. it was dusk. Not night time.

All of a sudden it was obvious.

As I write this, spring is picking sleep from her eyes, and smoothing down her 'bed hair'.

Saturday, 16 February 2008


Do what every good Londoner does once in a while - take to the country for the day. Constantly remark on how 'quaint' everything is as you savour the fresh air, lack of Starbucks and regain your sense of personal space.

Support the National Trust and walk the paths walked by kings.

Sunday, 10 February 2008

My Talented Mum

Look at how amazing my mum is.

She crafted this dress especially for my friend's gorgeous little girl Madeleine.
The smocking is beautiful and she did it all by hand.

The craftiest thing I have done of late is to paint my nails. And even that I made a mess of.

I worry a lot about our generation. Maybe I should take up a craft. Then I would have less time to worry about the dramatic loss of traditions, culture and history we face with every passing day.....

Friday, 8 February 2008

The Northern Line's Incredible Friday Phenomenon

I just witnessed an incredible phenomenon. So amazing in fact, I just had to write about it straight away.

My entire carriage this morning, was made up of ridiculously good-looking men. 'Why?' I hear you ask. I have no answer for you. Perhaps they were all on their way to a Calvin Klein casting.

There I stood, surrounded, sardine-like. Immediately I started thinking about what the collective noun for group of good looking men might be. (a 'smooth' of men, 'a scarf' of men, a 'lust' of men......) So there I was, surrounded by a lust of men all minding their own business while I stood aghast. Even more amazing, was that they just kept getting on. Until there was simply no more room.

As I (sadly) alighted the tube, I actually managed to hook one of these beautiful specimens. With the cord of my Ipod headphones. Unfortunately I had to throw him back before the closing doors got me.

You can bet I will be taking the 8.05:34 Northern Line tube via Bank from Stockwell next week too.

Thursday, 7 February 2008

Taking my very own bank holiday

A very wise friend of mine religiously takes his birthday off, every year. On one particularly gruelling Thursday last week, when my hate for work was at extraordinary levels, I decided to introduce the same policy. So I took Monday the 4th off.

I sat in a backstreet cafe and ate scrambled eggs whilst reading the paper. I had a 'good' haircut (as opposed to the disaster cut of three weeks ago). I ate my favourite Japanese food (okonomiyaki) covered in mayonnaise and mystery brown sauce, with some of my favourite ex-Japan people. I drank my favourite beer (Asahi) and at the end of a great day, I enjoyed tea and a Selfridges carrot cupcake.

The following day I returned to work a much more pleasant person. And a year older. And with a pair of reading glasses. But I'm still too emotional to talk about that yet.

Friday, 1 February 2008


Leave. Purchase 1p flights (which are not actually 1p at all - but £40 once you add on compulsory 'check-in charges', 'anti-crash tax', 'ensure you are delayed surcharge' ....) to anywhere requiring a passport. This alone is a novelty for any New Zealander.
Proceed to have a fabulous weekend away, all the while in the knowledge that you have a fabulous city to return to.